By Rachel Weaver

When Jim Beeghley – technology coordinator at Peters Township High School — married his wife Kim in October 1994, his bride knew she wanted a big family.

A few years after the couple took their vows, they started making her dreams a reality when Kim gave birth to their first child, a daughter they named Sarah.

Their second was on the way one year later, this time a son they planned to name Benjamin and nickname “Benji.”

In October 1999, a nine months pregnant Kim visited her doctor with concerns that the baby had not been kicking and moving as much as normal. Soon after, she received devastating news: Benji would be delivered a full term stillborn.

After an 18-hour induced labor and a few days of Kim recovering from the delivery, the Beeghleys left the hospital with Benji’s jumper, a diaper and a lock of his hair and began preparing their son’s funeral.

While coping with the loss, Jim and Kim found it difficult to find people who could relate to their feelings. Family and friends were supportive, but could not fully understand their pain.

“Miscarriages and stillborns are treated like, ‘Forget about it. You can have another one,’” says Kim.

“In our society, even after a death, people are told to hurry up and move on. But he was a part of us. He will always be. You can’t forget you had another child.”

The Beeghleys knew they could benefit by knowing there were others who understood their feelings.

“When an older person dies, you have time to say goodbye. In this case, we couldn’t even say hello to our son. You’re buying clothes and getting things ready. Then elation goes to complete loss,” says Jim.

To let other parents know they are not alone, the couple started the Angel Teddy Bear Foundation, through which they send stuffed bears as tools of comfort to families of stillborn children.
The couple started the foundation in February last year, five years after Benji’s death. Now Angel Teddy Bears are in 28 states and six countries.

While volunteers deliver bears across seas, the Beeghleys spend their free time arranging deliveries to hospitals in Southwestern Pennsylvania, including St. Clair Hospital, and across the county. Twice a month, they ship about 15 boxes.

But their free time is limited. Jim spends his days at Peters Township School District and Kim is one of the swimming coaches at Bethel Park High School. They live in South Fayette with their children: Sarah, 7; Christopher, 4; Josh, 2; and Jacob, six months.

Bears are donated through Russ Bears, Ty Bears and Plush in a Rush. Each comes with a sympathy card inscribed with the poem, “A Rosebud” by an anonymous writer.

To make sure each delivery is legitimate, the Beeghleys send each recipient a form which is signed by her and a hospital representative. The form is mailed back to the Beeghleys and confirmed before a bear is shipped.

Through this system, Jim has heard from a man serving in Iraq whose wife had lost her baby. Kim remembers sending a stuffed bear to a man across the country whose wife had lost twins. “He told me he loved it because it was something to hold,” she says.

The Beeghleys didn’t expect their project to grow so quickly. Just over a year from its inception, they are applying to make Angel Teddy Bears a tax-exempt, non-profit group to make grant applications easier and help with shipping costs.

They’ve already had help from several political officials, including Sen. John Pippy. They are working to get a proclamation naming October National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in Pennsylvania and to get legislation passed that would give stillborn babies both birth and death certificates.

Kim says the full impact of Benji’s death didn’t fully hit her until the following October when she realized he would be celebrating his first birthday.

But rather than remain saddened by their loss, the family rejoices in the memory of their son and brother. They hold a birthday party for him each year complete with cake and decorations. Sarah makes sure everyone she meets knows she has four brothers.

The wall in the Beeghley’s living room is covered with photos of Sarah, Chris, Josh and Jacob, but for years Kim has felt something is missing. This summer, the Beeghleys are working with a sketch artist to draw a picture of Benji.

“I want to make it complete,” says Kim.

To volunteer or donate, visit the foundation’s Web site at www.angelteddybears.org.