A counselor and a client review information on where to get help and advice.

There is help. There is hope.

That is the motto and the firm belief of the staff and volunteers at the Women’s Center and Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh, a nonprofit organization that helps women who are victims of domestic violence, a group that the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence says includes an astounding 1.3 million women across the U.S.

Maybe even more surprising is the fact that the Pittsburgh Center, one of the first six domestic violence prevention organizations in the country, was not established until 1974.

A mere 33 years of aid seems pathetically overdue considering this unique and specific type of violence goes back as far as anyone can remember. Why did it take so long for society to respond?

“Back in the 70s we didn’t know it was this prevalent and didn’t realize we needed this type of service,” said Shirl Regan, the organization’s executive director.

Tragically, that need is so great today that WCS serves about 5,200 women and children per year.
The group that started life in a Dormont storefront was first known as Women’s Center South. It was originally intended by founders Anne W. Steytler and Ellen Berliner to be a place where women with problems could gather and talk and, in Regan’s words, “learn how to knit, quilt, that sort of thing.” But once the women started coming to the facility, the founding mothers realized that the social club needed to be changed to a safe haven for battered women.

Today WCS provides a shelter where abused women can live in a safe environment with a 24-hour Hotline staffed by trained volunteers who help callers with counseling on what to do and assessing the caller’s level of risk.

Also available is the Empowerment Center, which provides face-to-face counseling on victims’ options as well as sessions for relatives of the abused party who need to better understand the situation and how to help. A medical advocacy service trains health care professionals to deal with domestic violence victims and facilitates medical treatment for those victims.

There is also a legal advocacy service to help victims proceed through the legal process and accompany them to court throughout. A children’s counseling center helps kids to better understand how to deal with their situation.

The Crime of Not Dealing with the Crime
One of the problems facing the Center – along with all domestic violence prevention groups – is the casual attitude adopted by some law enforcement officials with respect to violence that occurs “behind closed doors.”

Joyce McAneny, manager of the legal advocacy department at WCS, says that legislators are not to blame. Pennsylvania state law allows police to make a mandated arrest without a warrant, thereby taking the onus off of the victim to press charges in order to secure an arrest. The problem is the law isn’t enforced as often or as strictly as needed.

“I think it goes back to personal bias,” McAneny says of the cases in which officers respond to a domestic violence call but simply talk to the abuser to “calm him down” and often allow him to stay in the home when they leave.

That sentiment is echoed by Ruth (real name withheld for safety), a victim who – from the time she told her live-in partner that she was pregnant at the age of 18 – suffered regular abuse at his hands during and up to six years after her pregnancy.

After being dangled from a second story window by her ankles and then beaten into unconsciousness, she sought a Protection From Abuse order (PFA) at the courthouse where she met McAneny who, along with five other WSC advocates, is present at various domestic violence reporting locations around the city. The advocate helped her get protection, counseling, legal assistance and financial help from the Center and elsewhere.

“I had no support from the local cops,” Ruth said in a recent telephone interview. “They were friends of (my abuser).”

As to sentencing the abuser once an arrest is made, Ruth said, “It depends on what judge you’re in front of.” Her tormentor did receive six month terms at a penal boot camp for each of three PFA violations but on the criminal charges of abusing his “loved one,” he served only eight months of a one-year sentence despite a prior record that, Ruth and McAneny later discovered, included a conviction on a manslaughter charge.

In an effort to secure justice and better protection for women, WCS provides training for police, attorneys and judges to promote a better understanding of the dynamic between abuser and victim. Some police forces will bring in WCS advocates for further training or be mandated to do so by the domestic violence unit of the District Attorney’s office, with whom the Center often works hand-in-hand.

“(District Attorney) Stephen Zappala is always very cooperative with us,” McAneny said.”

Asked if there was any resistance on the part of the often involuntary trainees, McAneny responded, “Do some of them resent it? Yes, because we’re telling them how to do their job.”

Why doesn’t she just get out?
All of the women interviewed for this article agree that the lack of urgency exhibited by some law enforcement personnel is born of the responding police officers’ frustration after answering repeated calls to the same address. Those repeat visits raise questions in the officers’ minds: Why does she just stay and take it? Why doesn’t she just get out?

Those questions, said McAneny, are reflective of the attitude of many in our society. She considers that line of thinking overly simplistic.

“Unless you have walked a mile in a woman’s shoes,” she cautioned, “Don’t be her judge and jury.” 

“Why,” she asked rhetorically, “Doesn’t anyone ask ‘Why does he continue to beat someone he’s supposed to love?’”

Reasons that women stay in a relationship, McAneny has found, vary. Fear of reprisal, a feeling of worthlessness that is often planted in her mind by her abuser as part of his effort to remain in complete control or – in some cases – a fervent hope that this beating will be the last, that this time the inevitable post-abuse apology will be sincere. Hope is that he will go back to being the man she remembers, the one who made her feel safe and secure early on in the relationship.

“Nobody gets punched on the first date,” said McAneny, pointing out that the time of leaving is the most dangerous. “Every woman has her own timeline.”

Ruth’s case certainly follows that pattern.

“I was 18,” she said. “I was strong headed. I knew everything.”

Asked if she didn’t have family and friends she could turn to during those six-plus years of physical and emotional pain for her and her son, she answered, “I probably did but I chose not to because I was embarrassed.”

Rather than pressure a woman into getting out, the Center’s counselors present options, including leaving, to improve their situation. Women who are not ready to leave are counseled on the safest ways to exist in their situation and how to be prepared to make the move when the time comes. Those tips include having a “survival kit” consisting of personal belongings, extra clothes, a credit card, some cash and other useful items stashed away where it is unlikely to be found by her partner.
When that moment of truth does arrive, the Center offers a temporary residence at their shelter, the location of which is kept confidential for obvious reasons. There women can talk with others who are going through the same horror, get free food and shelter and receive counseling on how to continue with their lives now that they have taken that vital first step.

There is help. There is hope.
Another message the Center’s counselors and advocates try to get across to their clients is that, even after years of misery and pain, lives can be turned around. Or as Regan puts it, “There is life after domestic violence.”

After Ruth left her abusive situation, she relied on the Center for food, shelter, legal advice and counseling for her and her son to help them understand that their horrific situation was not self-imposed but imposed upon them by a man who wanted to take complete control of their lives.
Ruth will be married in October to a former high-school acquaintance that both she and McAneny describe as “a really nice guy.” Her son is well-adjusted and thrilled to have a “new daddy,” she is expecting her second child, a girl, in November and she believes that – although she would never have chosen to live through it – her former relationship has taught her some hard lessons.

“I actually came out of the situation stronger,” she said. “But if it hadn’t been for Joyce, I would have given up and I might be dead.”

A Helping Hand
Like any nonprofit, WCS depends on various sources of revenue to stay viable.

Anna Baird, a WCS board member and treasurer says that 55 percent of this year’s
$3 million budget will come from state, federal and local government funding with an additional 15 percent provided by private foundations and trusts. The remaining 30 percent, she says, is made up of “individual contributions, program fees and fundraisers.”

One of the two big fundraisers of the year is on tap for November 4 at the Galleria Mall, Rt. 19S in Mt. Lebanon.

WCS development director Ellen Gamble said this year’s fifth annual “Highmark Shop to Stop Domestic Violence” will be full of fun, great bargains, good food and drinks and an opportunity to help domestic abuse victims by helping the Center continue to offer their invaluable services.

Chaired by Highmark Sr. Vice President for Corporate Affairs, Aaron Walton and his wife Gloria, the event offers discounts at all shops in the Galleria – which will be closed to the public for the evening – food, wine tasting, a “strolling” fashion show hosted by WTAE’s Sally Wiggin and featuring Pittsburgh celebrity models, as well as a Chinese Auction and a grown-up fish pond with great prizes. And it’s all for just $50 per person in advance or $60 at the door.

“We believe that this is a shopping event like no other,” Gamble said.

All proceeds from ticket sales go directly to the Women’s Center and Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh. Most importantly, the event will help more women like Ruth get back to a happier life and a brighter future.

For more details on the Highmark Shop to Stop Domestic Violence event, including group rates, call 412-687-8017 ext. 338 or log onto www.wcspittsburgh.org.